


Dick and Dami Short story Angst

by EternityPrevails



Series: Cries in the night [7]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Son of Batman (2014), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Blood, Bombs, Brotherly Bonding, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Damian Wayne is Robin, Delusions, Dick Grayson and Damian Wayne are Siblings, Dick Grayson is Batman, Drug Addiction, Fear, Fear gas, Flashbacks, Gunshot Wounds, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Isolation, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Joker Venom (DCU), Kidnapped, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries, Near Death, Near Death Experiences, Nightmares, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Scarecrow's Fear Toxin (DCU), Seizures, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, Vomiting, Whump, Whumptober, Whumptober 2019, dickdami, fear toxin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 21:50:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 17,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20881229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternityPrevails/pseuds/EternityPrevails
Summary: Was originally whumptober writings but I never finished them so now its a year-round angst festMostly Dick and Dami centricNeither of them can ever catch a break





	1. Day 1: Shaky hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im a little late to the party but I am here

Damian looked down wide-eyed at his hands, they were splayed out palms up hovering just over his knees. They were shaking intensely, his breathing was damn near as rapid as the shaking and he couldn't control either of them. He had woken up about thirty minutes ago and couldn't move, he couldn't move. He wanted to move or look away from his hands but he couldn't. His hands. his hands were covered in blood, he could see the blood. He was afraid to look up even if he could because he was afraid of seeing blood on other parts of the room. He could already see some out of his peripheral vision. 

_Grayson laid draped over his arms, blood dropped off of Damian's hands and pooled under the two of them from the sword embedded in Grayson's chest. The sword Talia had put there when Damian refused to go back to the league. The sword was directly in Grayson's heart, there was nothing Damian could do to stop him from dying. _

If Mother could see him now she would be so disappointed. SHe would say he has grown weak to allow a dream to effect him so direly. It had been a dream, right? Grayson was still alive, right? If it had been a dream then why would Damian still see the blood staining his fucking hands? He could feel the weight of Grayson on his, growing heavier, growing colder. His thoughts were racing at a million miles an hour and he couldn't tell what was real anymore, the lines between reality and dreams were blurring. Had that been a dream or a memory? Was Dick alive or dead? Was there actually blood on his hands or was this a nightmare after image? He couldn't figure out what was happening anymore and he wanted to move but he couldn't stop looking at his trembling hands. At the blood that was dripping off of them, at the blood on his sheets and his legs and in his peripheral vision. 

He vaguely heard a door open but it sounded like it was a million miles away. Someone said something but he couldn't hear what it was, or who had said it. A pair of cool-olive hands wrapped around his own squeezing them tightly. 

_Damian couldn't stop watching as Graysons Cool-Olive coloured skin faded to a pale beige and then to white. With a sick laugh, he couldn't help but think how easy Grayson could have passed for Fathers biological son if he had been this pale while alive._

These new hands didn't have any blood on them, and as the grabbed Damians they steadied the shaking. He heard a voice again, the same voice. Who's fucking voice was that? Why couldn't he understand what they were saying? The hands moved out of his field of vision again and he wanted to look up, to see where they went, but he couldn't move at all. He felt arms wrap around him tightly and he was pulled into someone, they were saying something. He still couldn't quite hear what they were saying but at least now he could recognize the voice. He recognized it as a familiar voice, a friendly voice. He couldn't quite place who's though. Whoever had pulled him in had pushed his face against some kind of fabric and now that he couldn't see the blood his thoughts began to slow down. 

"Damian," the person said his name, the person sounded like they were upset. "please talk to me. Why are you screaming? What's wrong?" 

Was Damian screaming, he hadn't even realized he was screaming. It had all just bled into the static of his brain, but now that the person had mentioned it he could hear himself. They were sharp, high, broken shrieks. Ripping out of his throat, muffled slightly by the person's shirt. He wanted to stop screaming but for some reason, he couldn't remember how. 

_ Grayson screamed as the knife pierced his heart. Damian caught him as he collapsed to the ground. _

He balled his fists up weakly punching whoever it was that was holding him. The person didn't object but instead tightened his grip around Damian. Damian was still screaming, he wanted to stop screaming, WHY WAS HE STILL SCREAMING?? Time passed, he didn't know how much, but time passed. Eventually, he managed to scream his voice away and his throat was destroyed. The person who was holding him let go of him, a hand grabbed under his chin and lifted his head up. He could finally see who it was. It was Grayson, he had tears of his cheeks, he looked concerned. "Little D, You with me?" His voice was soft

_Grayson's face was twisted in pain and his eyes were half-closed. Damian held him closely already knowing there was nothing he could do. A sword to the heart was not something someone could survive. "Little D" Graysons voice cracked and blood dribbled down his chin from his mouth "Stay with me"._

Damian covered his mouth scuttling backwards till he hit the headboard. If he hadn't completely ruined his voice he was sure he would have started screaming again. He wanted to start screaming again. He saw blood start to bloom Grayson's chest and start spreading out over his shirt. He knew this wasn't real, Grayson was sitting there in front of him alive. THis wasn't real. Damian still couldn't drag himself back to reality. "Dami please, say something, anything?" Grayson sounded like he was almost begging. Damian looked at his hands, they were still shaking but there was no more blood on them. The only blood was now the blood on Grayson's shirt. 

He moved so he was on his knees and crawled closer to his pseudo-brother. He stretched out a trembling hand and touched the shirt where he saw the blood. It wasn't wet but when he pulled his hand back there was red staining it. He looked at his hand confused, he logically knew the blood wasn't real and they Grayson was sitting right in front of him but he couldn't get his brain to accept that fact. "Damian Please, you're scaring me" Damian's eyes shot back up to look at Grayson. 

"Blood" he whispered his voice super rough from the earlier screaming. He looked back down at his hand, the blood he had seen was gone and there was no longer blood staining Grayson's shirt.

Grayson's hands grabbed his own and he looked up again "Damian, there is no blood. You were having a nightmare, do you understand?" Graysons voice was soft and caring. Damian nodded not really trusting himself to speak. Just a nightmare, no blood, no dead Grayson, just a dream. He swallowed hard trying to process that information and realized how much pain his throat was in, Grayson said he was screaming. He brought a hand up rubbing his throat softly. "You want some tea for your throat?" Grayson asked and Damian nodded again. He crawled over grabbed Grayson tightly and forcing the older man to pick him up as he stood. He knew he could have just asked and Grayson would have done it but Damian had too much pride and they both knew it. 

He buried his face into the older mans shoulder swearing to himself that he would die before he ever allowed someone to hurt his Grayson. 


	2. Day 2: Explosion

Robin never understood why villans had obsessions with bombs. Maybe it was because he was raised an assassin and a shadow, both things that dictated the upmost silence and subtlety, or maybe it was because bombs were completely lacking any kind of style. Dropping in a killing people before they know you're there, that is a style. Beating the shit out of people through pure strength and aggression, that is a style. Hell, even all the flip-idy twirly shit that Nightwing was known for is a style in of its self. But bombs were not a style, they were just loud and aggressive and brash. There was really just no class or elegance when it came to bombs. 

Though standing three feet away from a large green and purple probably wasn't the appropriate time to be thinking about this. 

About an hour earlier they had gotten reports of Joker leaving bombs full of gaseous joker venom all around the city. They had been out for hours showering everywhere where they had gotten reports of the stupid things, luckily they had managed to get to them all before any had gone off. Then they got the last reported bomb, all the other bombs had been unguarded so they went into this one assuming it would be the same. Unfortunately, they had been wrong. A dozen joker goonies (where did he even get these guys) had blindsided them and attacked them. Somewhere in the fight, they had gotten separated, Robin had managed to fight off his half of the baddies but in doing so his gas mask was broken. It had taken several tries but after a while, he managed to get ahold of Batman who was also uninjured. They both agreed to cover their parts of the building and report back when they saw something. He hadn't been paying attention and someone managed to sneak up behind him. It must have been some kind of pipe or metal rod that they hit him with because he was out immediately. That's how he had gotten where he was now, barely conscious with a massive migraine and locked in a room with a joker bomb. 

The bomb had already begun to spill out its noxious green gas before he woke up and now he wasn't sure how long it had been going to how much he had been exposed to. "Batman" He clicked his radio, it was just static. "Batman this is an emergency" He tried again stumbling up to his feet. He shook the door with all the strength he had but he was dizzy from his head injury. He heard some static on the other end

"Robin ~chhhh~ you ~chhhh~ bad sig ~chhhh~ you okay?" 

"Batman" He tried to keep the unsteadiness out of his voice, but between the dizziness and the fear, it was trembling. "I don't know where I am, I got knocked out by something metal. They locked me in the room with the bomb, my gas mask is broken" He hoped that however much of it had gone through was enough for the older man to understand. His dizziness caught up with him and he sunk to his knees nauseous. His vision was beginning to go double and he knew he had a concussion. He grabbed the tracker that he kept on the inside of his Robin Boots and pressed it to the ground till it began to blink bright blue. He knew it would link to the wrist computer Batman had in his gloves so that Damian could be tracked. 

"~chhhh~" the comlink static-ed back on "tracker signal ~chhhhh~ my way ~chhhhhh~ careful ~chhhhhh~ keep ~chhh~ com ~chhhh~ on"

Damian did as he was told, or at least as he thinks he was told to do and left his comlink on. The gas had filled the room a hazy green and Damian was trying to breathe shallow which was easier said than done. He felt a sickening cackle bubble up his throat and he covered his mouth trying to stop the effects of the venom. He knew it was hopeless but he tried anyway. Another cackle escaped his lips then a few more until he was sitting head bowed chuckling at nothing. The more he laughed, the more he had to breathe in, the more poison he ingested. he covered his face wanting to stop but he couldn't. 

"Fuck, Robin, can you hear me" Batmans voice broke over the comlink, this time it wasn't static-y. He must be getting closer, he wanted to say something but he couldn't. He couldn't stop laughing, his lungs had begun to burn and tears and started building up in his eyes. This was not how he wanted to die. 

He moved his hands away from his face and clutched at his burning sides. He was cackling so loud it rung throughout the room and he couldn't even hear what was being said. His throat hurt and his lungs burned. He couldn't even stop laughing long enough to breath. He felt like his throat was closing but he couldn't stop laughing, this stupid gas was going to kill him. He felt tears burning down his face and his laughs started to be interrupted only by coughs as his lungs were begging for oxygen. The Joker bomb finally stopped spewing noxious gas and a large count down timer flicked on, it had two minutes on it. Damian supposed that death by the bomb would be better than death by asphyxiation from laughing. 

He saw more than heard the door get kicked opened, Batman rushing in. Batman ran over to him and wrapped him up in the cape "Shh, it's okay Robin, you'll be okay just hang on" WIth that Batman picked RObin up and held him close. Robin wanted to object but the bomb only had a few seconds left on it and he wasn't even sure he could walk. Robin wasn't really sure what was happening next but the next thing he knew the building was exploding and he was landing hard against the ground still wrapped in the cape. 

There was a few minutes of silence, or maybe it wasn't silent. Robin really couldn't hear over the sound of his terrible laughter. At this point, he was coughing and choking more than he was actually laughing. He could feel it tearing apart the tissue is his throat as he started to taste blood. The cape came unwrapped around him revelling Batman. No, it was Grayson, his cowl was off and his skin was covered in grey soot from the explosion. The building behind them was on fire and it looked like they had ended up in an ally way. Robin scratched at his throat, everything hurt so much. 

"Shh, its okay" Grayson pet his hair "it's okay Dami" with his other Hand Grayson grabbed a syringe and stopped putting his hair only long enough to straighten his arm giving him a shot. The serum took a minute to start working and when it did it felt like his blood was on fire. Between the laughing and the serum, he couldn't handle anything anymore. 

*Ha* 

*haha*

*hahahaha*

*hahahahahahahahahaha*

He hung his head wanting the terrible broken sound to stop but it seemed to be just getting worse. Grayson grabbed him pulling him into his lap and rocking him "I know it hurt, just try to breathe. The serum takes a few minutes"

Damian hurried his face into Grayson's shoulder letting the older man held him. Eventually, Robin fainted for the sheer emotion expectation of both the laughing and the pain from the serum. Still, he continued to laugh even in unconsciousness. They sat there is the scattered remains of the exploded building for a long time till the medicine had neutralized all of the toxins. When it finally wore off Grayson put back on his cowl and pocked up Robin in his hands, making sure to wrap him tightly in the cape. He didn't care about the explosion, or the building, or talking ot the police, all he wanted to do was get Robin home safe. 


	3. Day 3: Delirium/Feverish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the previous chapter

Damian was having a bad reaction to the anti-venom, which wasn't an abnormal response. Nobody had a good reaction to the joker anti-toxin. It always made Dick super nauseous, it gave Tim a low fever, and it made Jason a little weak. But it never laid any of them out like it had Damian, of course, none of them had even been exposed to as much of the joker gas as Damian had. Dick had gotten him back to the cave and onto a medical cot before the boy even woke up. It had been about thirty minutes since he had fainted from the combined stress of the venom and the pain of the serum. Dick had begun to hook him up to the monitoring machines when Damian started to wake up. He groaned tossing his head and muttering in another language. 

"Shh, it's okay Dami" Dick pet the younger man's hair softly. This only seemed to agitate him more, his words were heavily slurred and disorganized at best. though more like they were completely illogical words loosely linked together following no particular train of thought. Dick decided it would be better to stop petting his hair since it seemed to just be agitating him and instead focus back on the equipment. Which turned out to be more of a task than he expected, every time he touched Damian the boy would weakly flail out muttering incoherent nothingness. It was concerning. 

Damian had broken out in a cold sweat and was running a fever. A rather high fever slowly creeping its way up over 102. Dick sat on the cot and pulled the half-conscious boy in his arms. This seemed to calm him down a little. They stayed in this position for a long while, Dick softly rocking Damian through his fits of disillusioned muttering. Damian shifted so his face was resting against Dick's chest and he let out a pathetic groan. Dick knew there was nothing more he could do to help but it didn't stop the desire to make everything okay. He could feel the heat graduating off Damian skin even through his shirt, he glanced up at the machine. His temperature was still creeping upward, 103.7. Damian groaned again and started coughing so hard it shook his body. Dick started to adjust the young boy so that he could breath easier but before he could manage to do so Damian began throwing up all over both of them. 

Bruce would have been mad at Damian for getting vomit on the Batman costume, Dick couldn't be mad. He only had room for one overwhelming emotion right now and that was fear. "Shh it's okay" Dick whispered rubbing his back "it's okay, you're okay." By the time Damian was done he was trembling and leaning completely against Dick for support

"I'm sorry" he whispered, it was the first coherent thing he had said since getting gassed. 

"Don't apologize" Dick whispered getting up off the bed and picking Damian up "Let's get you cleaned up." Damian just offered a weak nod. DIck walked both of them into the shower room and knocked down the shower seat sitting Damian on it. They had it installed for when they were injured on patrol and needed to sit down while showering. Though it was rarely ever used it had come in useful on many occasions. Dick carefully began to untie Robins boots throwing them to the side and repeating with the rest of the uniform till Damian was in nothing more than a tank top and boxers. Dick also took off his Batman uniform until he was in his undershirt and boxers. Damian was growing less responsive as he leaned against the wall. Dick grabbed a rag and turned on the shower gently washing the vomit off of Damian's skin. 

The vomit was neon green just like the joker gas, he knew it was a good sign. It meant that the venom was exiting his bloodstream but it was still terrifying. Damian lurched forward and this time Dick narrowly missed being thrown up on once again. If Dick didn't know any better he would be afraid that Damian was having an allergic-type reaction to the serum he had been given. Damian kept reaching out like he was trying to grab something even though there was nothing there, Dick was too afraid to ask Damian what he was reaching for. If Damian was as delirious as Dick thought he was there was a good chance he was hallucinating. Dick carefully finished washing the unsettling coloured vomit off of Damian's skin, and then his own. he wrapped the boy in a towel and laid him back on a different cot. "Damian" He whispers softly, he wasn't sure the body could hear him but he was going to give it a shot anyway. "I will be right back, okay" Dick kissed the little boy's forehead mildly relieved when he felt the skin cooler, the cold shower had lowered his fever. 

When Dick came back Damian was asleep, the fever still hadn't picked back up. Dick crawled onto the bed next to him pulling him close to his chest and started singing ot him softly. It was about an hour when Damian came around again "Richard" he turned into Dick's chest and Dick tightened his grasp "What happened, I, gas, bomb" Dick could feel him growing agitated. 

"Hey, its okay" he whispered "everyone is safe, you are safe. Just rest" Damian seemed to be satisfied and relaxed in his arms. 


	4. Day 4 and 5: Gunpoint and Human sheild

Dick couldn't feel anything but pain, graduating down his left shoulder and all over his left side. Even with ihs eyes closed and him lying on what felt like his back he was so dizzy. Where was he? what was happening? He tried to move but even just flexing his hand opened and closed cause excruciating amounts of pain to shoot through him. He could feel he was wearing gloves, leather not silk. He was Nightwing right now, not Dick Grayson. No, not Nightwing, Batman. He was Batman right now. He squeezed his eyes closed trying to think of what had happened. 

He was fighting someone, a thug or something he couldn't quite remember. Robin had been distracted in a fight and didn't see a gunman come up behind him. Batman had screamed at him but the boy didn't have time to move. So Batman had thrown himself on Robin knocking him out of the way. The Batman uniformed was supposed to be bulletproof, the gunman must have made a lucky shot and gotten one of the few weak areas. That's why Batman had jumped in front of Robin, while the Batman suit had only a few small areas of weakness the Robin uniform had much more and larger unprotected areas to help with the increased flexibility and sneaking that came with being a Robin. 

ROBIN, he had thrown himself on top of Robin, where was he. He blearily opened his eyes struggling to get his vision to correct. Everything was fuzzy but he could make out the outline of someone above him. He weakly reached up a hand at the person and they wrapped both hands around his own. The other person's hands looked red "Grayson you idiot" Dick was relieved to hear that voice. Even if it sounded like it was a million miles away and underwater. "Stay with me" The person's hands moved and he felt pressure on his upper shoulder causing him to groan out in pain. 

"You okay?" He whispered laying his arm back down. He just wanted to go to sleep, he was so tired. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, just relax help is on its way just stay awake"

Dick didn't want to stay awake, he wanted to sleep. His eyelids were so damn heavy. It wouldn't be too much of a bad thing if he just let them close for a second, only a second couldn't hurt, could it? It was no sooner did he let his eyes close that he felt a sharp smack across his cheek. He jumped at the unexpected contact and it sent pain shooting through his entire body. He let out a weak yelp feeling like he was going to be sick. "GRAYSON, STAY. AWAKE" it was Damian's voice again, it sounded like he was going to cry. No, Dick didn't want him to cry. "Todd is here to help" Was Damian getting quieter or was Dick's hearing acting up? He recognized that he had no idea how much blood he had lost and he could easily be going into shock. 

He felt hands on him, something tight wrapped around his shoulder. There was bickering between two, maybe three voices. One was Damian, the other was presumably Jason. He felt himself getting moved, pain shooting through him and he was so tired. Someone was shaking him, he was so cold. It was summer in Gotham, he was fully decked out in the Batman costume the last thing he should be was cold. Damian and Jason were both there, they were taking care of him now, so maybe it would be okay if he just closed his eyes for a few minutes. He let his eyes fall closed and the world around him was growing silent. 

* * *

_Dick was sitting on a trapeze platform looking around confused. The lights were too bright up here and he couldn't see the ground but he was certain the roof looked like the top of a circus tent._

_"oh, micuțul meu Robin, ai crescut atât de mult" (Oh my little Robin, you've grown so much). Dick's head shot up at the voice and out of seemingly nowhere he saw a couple walking out of a shadow on the platform. He had to put a hand up to his mouth to stop from crying_

_"Mama" He whispered standing up and launching himself into a hug. They both held him tightly, it was nice for a few minutes until he came to a realization "sunt mort?" (Am I dead)_

_His mother laughed and Dick couldn't help but smile, her voice had always been high and crystal clear. He had missed hearing her laugh so much after their death, there was no laughter in the manor at least not when he had been young. "Nu Dickie, doar adormi" (no Dickie, you're just asleep). His father walked up to him and cupped his cheek, Dick instinctively nuzzled into his hand. "dar trebuie să te trezești acum" (but you need to wake up now")_

_Wake up, no he had just gotten here "No, I want to stay here with you" he felt like he was going to cry "please don't make me go"_

_His father hand was removed and the lack of physical contact felt like fire. "Dickie, you will always be our beautiful little Robin but you have your own Robin that you need to get back to. Don't let him loose you as you lost us" His parents began to fade out and he tried to grab for them but they were gone and he was collapsed on his knees on the platform._

* * *

  
When Dick came to he woke up crying, he wasn't entirely sure what was going on. He was laying on his back in what felt like a bed, he tried to open his eyes but the lights were too bright. "Richard?" There was a voice ot his left, it was a guys voice. But it wasn't his father's voice and for some reason, that made him cry harder. "Why are you crying? Are you in pain?" It was Damian's voice. He squinted through the bright light to see Damian standing beside the bed. He was shirtless and in sweatpants looking worried. 

Dick squeezed his eyes closed again letting a fresh wave of tears wash over him. "Mamă, tată, te rog, nu mă lăsa în pace nu din nou." (Mom, Dad, please, don't leave me alone not again.) he muttered to nobody tossing his head back against the bed. "Te rog, nu mai pot face asta singur, am nevoie de tine" (Please, I can't do this alone anymore, I need you). Weak sobs shook his body and he ignored how they caused pain to shoot through him. Everything hurt.

He hears a string of curses come from Damian and felt a hand rest on his forehead then two fingers on his neck "Damn it please, please tell me you are not hallucinating again. Your fever is down, I don't understand." It briefly struck dicks that Damian had said please tell me you're not hallucinating AGAIN, how long had Dick been out anyway and had already been hallucinating if so he couldn't remember. Damian's voice sounded like he was on the verge of crying and Dick wanted to comfort him but he felt too weak and before he knew what was happening he faded out of consciousness again. 

\-----

The next time he could remember coming around it was to the loud sounds of machines screaming and the taste of vomit and blood in his mouth. All he knew was that he was in excruciating pain and that there were people touching him. He didn't have the strength to open his eyes and he thought he might have heard someone say his name but he passed out again before he could figure it out. 

\-----

He came around again to the soft sound of singing and the recognizable scratching of pencil on sketch paper. He tried to say something but it just came out as a heavy groan and he rolled his head to the side that the noises were coming from. The sounds stopped and Dick wanted them to start back up again. "Richard?" the voice sounded hopeful but also cautious "are you awake?" He felt a hand touch his arm. He squinted his eyes opened trying to look at Damian, who was now standing beside him, but the lights were so bright. He tried to lift a hand to cover his eyes only to come to the realization he was handcuffed to the table. He wanted to say something, he had so many questions. His senses were starting to come back to him one by one and he realized he was not only in excruciating pain but his throat was dry as fuck. 

"Water" he managed to choke out the word tossing his head to the side in an attempt to get the blinding light out of his eyes. Talking made his throat feel like he was on fire. He wasn't really sure what was happening but soon he felt a hand helping him lift his head and a cup being placed to his lips. He drunk greedily, the last time he could remember his throat feeling this dry when that time when he was Robin his team, the young justice team, had been stuck in the desert for almost two days without any water. The cup was empty long before Dick was satiated but the hand helped him lay his head back down on the bed. He was breathing heavily, he hadn't noticed it but even the action of partially sitting up felt like that had taken an obscene amount of energy. 

He wasn't really sure what was going on and his brain was too foggy to form coherent thoughts. A voice spoke but he couldn't make out what had been said, the voice was soft and concerned. Dick turned his head in the general direction that is was coming from but the lights were still too bright for him to see. His eyes weren't adjusting, they just hurt. The water in his stomach turned sour and he got super nauseous. He tunned at the handcuffs wanted to roll over onto his side just in case he threw up. He groaned trying to form words but his brain wasn't working. He gagged and the owner of the voice seemed to notice the problem because they unlocked the cuffs on one side and helped his rollover. There was one set of hands-on his back and shoulder presumably to stop him from falling. There was also a third hand laced into his hair. At least two people. He squinted and in this position, he could make out the blurry outline of dark skin and darker hair, Damian, who was holding something silver. Presumably a bucket. 

He gagged again vomiting up everything he had just drunk and he felt the hand in his hair push his head forward slightly so at least most of his vomit landed in the bucket. Even after he was sure he had no more water in his system he continued to throw up bile. His throat burned more and he was grateful for whoever it was that was holding him onto his side otherwise he was sure he would collapse. He defiantly didn't have the strength to hold himself up. He squeezed his eyes closed tightly against the sheer amount of pain he was in and he could feel tears drawing cool lines down his cheeks. He felt like he had been throwing up for a century before he finally finished and was allowed to lay onto his back again. Now that he had a free hand he used it to swat at the lights above him wanting them off. His eyes should have adjusted to them but they hadn't. He heard the two people muttering to each other than one of them spoke up. "Are the lights bothering you?" That didn't sound like Damian's voice. 

He nodded, he heard a flurry of footsteps and the lights dimmed to a level he could see at. His vision was blurry but he could make out that Damian was standing over him and so was Jason. Right, of course, Jason had come to his and Damian's rescue that night. The night <strike>Dick, no Nightwing, no</strike> Batman, got shot. He squeezed his eyes closed again the pain that was his existence right how and pushed his head back into the bed. He knew the two men were probably waiting for him to say something, anything, but he couldn't form words right now. He balled his fist punching down on the bed with gritted teeth. Every part of him hurt and he wanted to say anything but apparently, after asking for water his brain forgot how words worked. 

"Dickhead, you need to calm down your elevating your heart rate" Jason was speaking to him and he knew the younger man was right but he couldn't help it. He hit down on the bed again letting out a pathetic whine. "Dick listen to me, the bullet hit a major artery we managed to suture it but if you don't calm down you're going to pull the stitches and you don't have any more blood to lose." Dick tried to clam down but it was hard, everything hurt so god damn much. 

He hit down on the bed again and before he knew it he felt a needle prick his still handcuffed arm and he was out again

\-----

He woke up again and this time he wasn't alone, there was a smaller body lying beside him. "Damian" he whispered hoarsely and he felt the young man pop up beside him 

"Richard, you're awake" He sounded like he had been crying. Dick opened his eyes and looked at the younger man weakly. Damian's cheeks were red and his eyes puffy.

"You, crying" he whispered "don't cry, I okay" His voice was broken and shaky. He heard a small scoff beside him. 

"I'm not crying, its allergies" Damian lied and Dick felt him cuddle back beside him "I know you're okay, im just monitoring your breathing. Dick would have laughed if he wasn't in so much pain. Instead, he just wrapped an arm around his little brother and felt the kid curl into his chest. 

"I'm sorry" he whispered "I didn't mean to scare you, I won't do it again"


	5. Day 6 and 7: Dragged away and Isolation

He should have been paying more attention, he should have noticed the man in the shadows. He had been fighting two other men when the third snuck up behind him. he should have seen him, but he didn't. He didn't notice him till it was too late and there was a metal pipe across the back of his head. The impact knocked the breath out of his lungs and he staggered forward. His vision had blacked out and he collapsed forward on his knees. He couldn't see what was happening anymore. He was still temporarily blind, His ears were ringing and he was beyond dizzy. His elbows shook violently as he tried to hold himself on his knees breathing through nausea.

His stomach lurched and he vomited up his dinner and his before patrol snack, if the impact had him this nauseous then it meant that a terrible concussion was the best possible outcome. Brain swelling or internal bleeding was probably the worst. He couldn't think about it through his stomach convulsing again and this time his arms gave out dropping him into the mess. He could hear the sneering of the goons but couldn't understand what they were saying, everything was still black and ringing and dizzy. He weakly kicked the side of his boot against the ground hoping it would be enough to set off the tracker that was on the inside lip of the boot. 

He heard shuffling around him and felt someone grab a handful of his hair and began to pull him across the dirty concrete. He might have yelled in pain if his brain and mouth would have only been communicating enough to make any sound. He prayed that his tracking beacon was transmitting and Batman would come for him. The concrete hurt and the pulling hair added to the migraine that was building and he passed out. 

He woke up slowly taking inventory of his injuries and current position. He was lying on a cement floor, rocks diggin into his skin. He was still in his uniform, but he no longer had his utility belt or boots on. Fuck, they had taken his boots, the boots that had the tracking becom in them. His hands and feet were tied with what felt like rope behind his back. His head was pounding and his hair felt like it was matted with something Damian could only assume to be blood. He also had a stabbing pain radiateing in his stomach. He slowly opened his eyes greatful his vision had come back during his sleep. Not by much though, it was extremely blurry and everything seemed so blaringly bright. His ears were ringing and he smelt like vomit.

He pushed himself up into a sitting position weakly but even that small movement was too much for his fragile stomach to handle right now. He hunched over throwing up for what was at least the second time that day. It was still the same day, right? He weakly laid his head back against the wall when he was done and just let himself breath. He needed to reserve energy for if the bad guys came back. Cause right now in this state there was no way h could fight them. Hell, he wasn't even sure he could stand up right now. He wasn't sure when he fell asleep or when he woke back up again but he was sitting against the wall still. He stayed there for a long time before slowly adjusting his arms so that they were in front of him. He had planned to untie them but he had obviously underestimated the severity of his head wound and even the excertion of the minimum amount of effort caused him to pass out again before he could get to that point.

This cycle of waking up, accomplishing one very minor task, and then passing out again continued for a while. Damian did eventually manage to get himself united though. He looked at his hands and they were red and blurry. So bluryr he had a hard time even makign out the outline. Every time he woke up again his vision was a little more clear but he knew he really needed to stop passing out. Each time he did he risked not wakign up again. The fact that he was continuously passing out int he fashion he was anyway was a signifyer of justg how bad his head wound was. 

He was concussed that was for sure, but he probably didn't have brain swelling or internal bleeding otherwise he would likely be dead already. He had realized in attempting to untie his hands that he had at least two broken fingers and a definatly-sprained-and-potentially-fractured-ankle and many bruises. The bruises looked distinctly like shoe marks and Damian managed to come to the conclusion that at some point while he was passed out that had beaten him pretty good. 

He wasn't sure how long he had been in there, maybe a few days, maybe a couple of hours. WIth the way he had been passing out and waking up it was impossible to tell. When his vision finally stopped being blurry he could see he was in a concrete room and there didn't seem to be a door. He had walked to walls trying to find an exit as best he could on his ankle but he hadn't found anything. There was no food or water. That was okay, normally people can go up to three days without water. Damian probably couldn't go that long, his head wound had cause extreme nausea and he threw up once in the field and at least three time since being along in this room. So he was already very dehydrated.

After maybe his eleventh or twelfth time waking up after fainting, or maybe this time he had jsut gone to sleep he wasn't sure. Damian was too weak to move from the spot he had propped himself up in. "Damian" He heard a voice and he opened his eyes weakly, he recognized that voice it was

"Mother" he voice cracked 

She was standing over him disapprovingly "you are a disappointment. 

* * *

Three days. It took Dick three panic-filled days to find Damian. He had found the tracker Damian had thought to trigger the first day but the goonies had taken his boots and belt so he effectively had no idea where his kid brother was. It took three days of Bruce saying that Damian had probably just run away again. And three days of Dick gut feeling saying the something was wrong. But eventually, he found him. In a boarded-up basement of a building that was to be demolished. The second Dick saw the state his brother was in he had never wanted to cry so badly.

Damian was passed out on the ground. His hair neck and the entire back of his shoulders were soaked thoroughly in blood. Damian himself was filthy and covered in vomit.

<strike>Dick</strike> Nightwing ran over to him pulling his glove off and touching Damian. The fact Damian didn't respond was terrifying. He was grateful to see the blood was long dried and no longer even seeping, but the vomit was fresh. Damian was trembling and running a fever. Damian's hand saw swollen and his ankle was not much better. Dick picked him up carefully only receiving a small groan. "Shh, its okay Dami, I'm here now, you're okay." 

Damian's eyes opened weakly and he looked at Dick but also somewhere far away. "mother?" Damian whispered softly grabbing at Dicks long hair with his uninjured hand. Dick forced himself not to cry. Damian was delusional (though if that was from the isolation or from his condition was unclear), concussed, and if the amount of blood and vomit on the floor was any indication he was dangerously dehydrated. Dick didn't need to be a doctor to know his blood pressure and sugar were both probably dangerously low and his fingers need to be set immediately. Dick cradled him carefully. He just hoped that he had gotten here soon enough to prevent any permanent physical or psychological damage. 


	6. Day 9: Shackled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Sexual assault, rape while drugged,  
Also, I know I skipped day 8, I'll go back to it. I couldn't think of anything.

After a while the villas had started to realize that it was damn near impossible to keep Nightwing tied up, this often lead to interesting situations of them trying to restrain him. INcluding the one he was currently in. Stripped of his Nightwing uniform except for his mask and some scraps they had left almost resembling shorts (presumably because they didn't want him to be naked) and tied up. His wrists were shackles above his head to two separate bars and slightly behind the rest of his body knocking him off balance. They had also shackled his legs together and to a bar about five inches off the ground and slightly in front of the rest of his boyd, knocking him even more off balance. They had apparently decided this wasn't enough and had ropes tied around the bare skin of his stomach and chest that dug into him each time he as much as took a deep breath but also made sure he was unable to adjust enough to regain his balance and free himself. If he hadn't been in so much pain he might have been impressed with the sheer amount of thought that had gone into this.

Nightwing groaned as he began to come back to consciousness. What had happened? He tried to force his brain through the haze that had taken over his mind, that's right. Someone had injected him with something. He had been fighting just a regular thug, he had felt a needle prick his arm, then nothing. Slowly his senses were beginning to come back. His first thought beging that he was damn near naked, he was heavily restrained, and he wasn't thoughting any kind of solid surface. He tugged at the shackles for a second in a blind panic but was quickly stopped by the ropes, he could already feel the rope burn forming on his skin. He paused his panic trying to remember his training, any of his training. What would Batman do if he had been her ein this situation? Well first he probably wouldn't have gotten in this situation. 

Damn-it Nightwing think. He tried to remember what he had been taught. SLow and shallow his breathing os the ropes didn't cut into him. Check if the shackles were in immediate danger of cutting off circulation. Nightwing lightly pulled at each shackle and flexed his feet and hands, they weren't tight enough cut off circulation but they were certainly wearing there way through his skin. He needed to stay still. He needed to pift himself so his weight was distributed on his back rather than his arms. He tried to adjust but whoever had tied him up was smart and made the chains on the shackles too short for him to get leverage and lift hikself.

Whoever had done this wasnt just another thug. There was something more going on here. He jusy wished he knew what it was exactually. He was hanging there for a while, how long he wasnt sure. But eventually someone decided to come out of the shadows.

"Glad to see youre awake" dick froze at the voice. And the man came closer putting a warm hand against Dicks skin.

"S-slade" he breathed out weakly suddenly feeling light headed and sick. He wanted to throw up but he forced himself to keep his composure. Still his mind kept shooting back to when he was 15, when he was Slades apprentice, when slade would...

He was jerked back to attention by the feeling of a hand on the inside of his thigh. His breathing immediately picked up and he jerked away. "I have a present fo you" Slade whispered and Nightwing watching him pull out a needle from his pocket. No, Nightwing started to struggle but it only proceeded to dig the cords deeper into his skin. Slade just laughed at him bringing up Nightwings panic levels. If this is what he thought it was then he didn;t like where this was going. "I remember how much you loved this tuff back when you were my apprentance"

Nightwing thought he might be sick his adrenaline was running so high. He didn't need to be told to know excatually what it as. Slade had modified some of poison Ivy's sex pollen into a serum that he used to inject him with when Dick was his apprentice. He felt the needle on his skin, he felt it slowly inject into his blood stream. He wanted to cry. Spades hand moved to grab his crotch and Dicks hips jerked forward in response. This stupid stuff turned every pleasure receptor up to a thousand and made it impossible for him to control himself. His mind knew he didn't want this but with this toxin in his system his body was going to react to every primal sexual urge it felt. With him tied up like this is meant that he wasn't in control and his body would do and react to whatever Slade had planned. 

Slade streaked him through what little bits of his uniform were left and Dick felt tears begin to stream down his cheeks. He hated that his hips jerked forward seeking more friction, he hated that he had no control over his body. 

* * *

After Slade had finally decided he had enough Dick was work out and exhausted, the sex toxin was wearing off and he felt disgusting. He just wanted to go to sleep. As soon as he closed his eyes he felt someone hitting him on the cheek "Hey, no sleeping yet I still have one more surprise for you."

No, please, no more surprises. Slade pulled out another vile, this one was different. "What is that?" he growled but his voice was raw and vice-less. Slade grinned sickeningly. He didn't even answer he just jabbed it into Dicks leg injecting him. It took only half a second before the new toxin took effect and it was awful. It made him feel like every hair on his body was a knife stabbing him, like his nerves were all on fire and somebody had poured laval into his veins. He screamed and struggled against his ever tightening restraints till he blacked out. 

* * *

This went on for weeks. Slade would come into his holding room, inject him with the sex serum, rape him multiple times, then inject him with the pain serum and leave. It was terrible and excruciating but Dick quickly realized that on days came in later or days he didn't come at all, or days when he came but left without giving Dick the pain serum Dick was furious. He got trembles, and headaches, and nausea. It didn't take him long to figure out his body was addicted to the pain serum. 

One day Slade came in but instead of coming in like he normally did. Instead he had a giant needle, at least three times the size of his normal ones, full of the pain serum. "You've been such a good boy for me, I thought I would reward you" Slade hissed smacking Dicks ass and holding up the needle "I know how much you love this stuff."

Dick sneered at him, he hated it because he was right. Dick did want it, well he didn't logically want it but his body wanted it. He whimpered wanting this to just be over. Slade seemed to be merciful and instead of jearing him any more he injected Dick with the entire syringe. After a second it kicked in and Dick knew something was wrong. This hurt too muc, much more than normally. His heart was beating too fast. He screamed, he couldn't breath it was too much. Somewhere beyond his screaming he heard gunshots and then someone was cutting the ropes off the him. 

He felt himself fall to the ground but he couldn't process anything. His screaming echoed in his own ears and everything hurt too much. There were people around him talking. 

"Dick, you need to clam down before your heart gives out!" he couldn't calm down

"He's overdosed on whatever drug this is" that was a different voice, they were right, dick could feel it. He clawed at the ground his back arched up trying to breath but everything hurt too much and then suddenly there was nothing. 

He heard one more small voice "He's not breathing, he's going to crash" and then everything was silent. 

**Dick held a sleeping Damian close to his chest. This was the first time the boy had slept in three days due to nightmares. Dick just held him close singing quietly "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when clouds are grey. Don't you know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away"**


	7. Day 10: Unconscious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> continuation of the next chapter

Damian had seen Grayson struggle through poison, fear gas, ivy toxins, and many many injuries. But to see Grayson almost naked, in spoiled clothing shreeking and struggling on the ground was more terrifying that anything he had ever seen before. Grayson was laying on his back screaming at the top of his lungs. His back was arched and he was clawing at the ground so hard it was splintering his nails. Slade had injected him with something, too much of it. Damian checked his pulse, his heart was beating fast. Way too fast at this rate it would give out. He had also taken on a grey parlour and he had clearly been overdosed on whatever he had been injected with. His screaming was too much it made Damian feel like he was going to have a panic attack himself. IT was loud and genuinely terrified. 

A second later Batman was beside his side, "His heart is beating too fast" Damian said mater-of factly trying to hide his panic. Batman nodded and carefully leaned over Grayson.

"Dick, you need to clam down before your heart gives out!" If Grayson ahd heard his young brothers pleas he wasn't responsive. Batman bit his lower lip grabbing for the tranquilizer.

"No" Damian snapped "He's overdosed on whatever drug this is, that tranq will kill him for sure" Graysons screaming suddenly went silent and the older man dropped to the floor dead still Damian was checking him in a second "He's not breathing" he tried to feel for a pulse, there was;t one. He was glad that Father took over because Damian had froze. He had seen several people die before but for some reason seeing Grayson on the floor technically dead was too much for him and he felt like he would throw up. It felt like a year but Batman got Grayson revived. The man was still unconscious, his breathing was rough, and he was still squirming in pain, but he was alive.

"We need to get him back to the cave" Father said sounding kind of breathless, Damian just still feeling like he was in shock. Father drove the Batmobile while Damian sat in the back holding DIcks head on his lap while the man slept. Batman handed Damian one of those breathing bag things that paramedics used and ordered him to make sure Dick didn't stop breathing. Grayson did stop breathing, twice during the rise. Luckily his heart didn't stop again so Damian could keep him sustained through breathing for him with the bag thingy. Dick continued to squirm and seethe in the back seat, he wasn't screaming out as much but he was clawing at the seat. Clawing at Damians arms and leaving large gashes, throwing his head back and arching his back trying to get away from the pain. The entire time Damian was muttering to his mostly in Arabic. trying to promise him that he was going to be okay, and begging him to not crash again. If he stopped breathing Damian could breathe for him but if his heart stopped again there was no promise that he could get it started again. 

Grayson began to make choking sounds, Damian noticed with horror that vomit was running down his chin. The problem was that he was laying on his back, Damian rolled him over the best he could from the leverage point he was in. He wasn't throwing up exactly but his mouth was foaming. Damian felt like he was going to cry. Graysons whole body was trembling and he was sweating profusely. If Father had called ahead Damian hadn't noticed but by the time they had gotten to the gave Pennyworth, Drake, and Todd were waiting for them. Damian was still in shock too much to process what was happening as Grayson was lifted off of him and brought into the medical area of the cave.

"He needs an antitoxin" Drake said grabbing the syringe

"He won't last that long, he needs a blood transfusion to get it out of his system, what blood type is he?" Father asked, shouldn't Father know what blood type his oldest son in?

"O negative" Todd added. Of course Grayson would be the universal giver blood type, it fit his personality too well. 

"We don't have any O negative" 

"I am a match" Damian finally seemed to snap out of his shock. Everyone looked at him "I'm O negative, give him my blood" Damian demanded already shredding the body armor covering his arms. He was sure somebody would try to argue with him if there had been more time but Grayson was fading out fast. 

* * *

After the blood transfusion was started Grayson stabilized pretty quickly but Grayson didn't wake up. After Grayson was stable everyone slowly left one by one, Damian did not. He claimed he was staying down here because the transfusion had made him feel ill and he did not want to risk a fainting injury, the truth was after everyone had left his curled up close to Graysons chest. It had taken them weak to find him, weeks of him suffering and being tortured. Damian eventually fell asleep against his chest. 

Grayson still hadn't woken up but after 24 hours it was Todd who noticed a problem. He had been checking Graysons vitals when he got a strange look on his face and started muttering to himself. "vomiting, trembling, excessive sweating, racing heart, high blood pressure, high fever, seizures ... FUCK" He screamed and threw something against the wall. Damian instinctively grabbed for his sword waiting to see what he would do next. 

"Todd, explain yourself" Damian growled. Todd looked scary, even in civilaian clothes he had all but transformed into the Red Hood persona

"He's addicted, whatever that sick bastard had him on hes addicted to it, he's going through withdraws" Todd was shaking in anger and Damian felt his blood run cold.

Addicted? Like people get addicted to drugs, Grayson was addicted to whatever this was? No, no that could happen. It was impossible, Grayson couldn't be addicted to this. Grayson would get through this right, he would be okay, he needed to be okay. Damian needed him to be okay. Damian needed him to be okay, he ...

Damian wasn't a hundred percent sure how he ended up on the floor, sitting in a fetal position but Todd was right infront of him. Hadn't todd been across the room? He felt like he was struggling to beath even though he knew he wasn't. he could recognize a panic attack when he had one. Damian had managed to hold it together the entire five weeks they had been searching for his brother but now he couldn't. This couldn't be happening, none of this felt real. "Woah kid, you with me" Todds voice was much more gentle than it normally was. Damian didn't have the good since to push him away and say that he was fine, so he just nodded. He felt the rough pad of a finger come up and wipe tears off his face. 

It wasn't Graysons finger and for some reason that made him cry harder. Grayson had to be okay. If anyone could be okay after all of this it would be him, right? Damian didn't know what he would do if Grayson wasn't okay. He wasn't even sure he could live if Grayson died. 


	8. Day 11: Stitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> continuation of the last two days

Dick woke up slowly and then all at once. He didn't feel the ropes or the shackles but they had been replaced with softer cuffs around his wrists and ankles. The last thing he remembered was excreting pain and he wasn't sure what had happened. So logically his first response was to panic. He yanked at the cuffs blindly forgetting all of his training. If Slade had moved him then nothing good was going to happen. Slade never moved to a second location unless he had a much large and more painful plan ahead. He heard loud fast beeping to his left and somewhere in his mind he knew that it was a heart rate monitor but that voice of reason was drowned in the panic. He managed to hit his arm one something and felt it cut him pretty bad but he didn't care everything felt so wrong. there were hands on him now only ramping up his blind panic. He heard commotion around, talking that he couldn't understand. There was more than one person? Slade didn't like to share, there shouldn't be more than one person here. Whoever the person was he felt somebody climb up on top of him.

The person grabbed his wrists lifting them slightly then softly slamming them down on the table "GRAYSON!" 

Wait a minute, Dick stilled recognizing what had just happened. The wrist thing, that was something Dick usually did to his brothers when they were having panic attacks. It was something he had learned, a way of giving a panicked person a real tangible sensation to focus on rather than their panic. And Slade didn't know Dicks name, there was no reason he would be calling him by his last name. And the weight on top of Dick straddled across his stomach was significantly too light to be Slade. 

Dick carefully and hesitantly opened his eyes. It wasn't Slade, it was Damian. Damian was straddling his stomach and holding his wrists down. He looked around hesitantly at the other people, the other voices. Tim, Jason, Bruce, Alfred. He suddenly felt very sick. He looked up at Damian through blurred vision, the young boy was wearing a scowl but also there was something concerned in his eyes. Dick weakly registered the sounds of hospital machines around him, suddenly he could weakly hear one of the machines start going crazy and everything went black. 

He woke up a few minutes later heavilly restrained and with a breathing mask over his nose and mouth. He glanced down and saw Damian sewing up a cut on his arm. Probably the cut he got while struggling. There was a lot of blood, he must have cut himself pretty bad. At least bad enough to need stitches. He weakly looked around the room but he didn't see anyone else. 

He weakly tossed his head trying to knock the breathing mask off. This must-have alerted Damian to his conscious because the young boy was suddenly right beside him adjusting the mask so that it was securely back of his face. "Grayson, If you calm down I will unrestrain you but DO NOT remove the mask. You have already stopped breathing multiple times. DO you understand?" Damian's voice was strong and solid. Dick nodded weakly. When had he stopped breathing? why had he stopped breathing? Why did he feel like hell warmed over? Damian unbuckled the restrains and Dick sat up slowly letting his legs fall off the side. He lifted the mask away from his mouth

"What happened?" he choked out before putting it right back on his mouth. Even with it away from him for a few seconds his chest felt tight. 

"You were abducted by Deathstroke, it took us five weeks to find you but we did and we rescued you" Damian paused and went back to stitching the cut up on his arm. "He injecte you with something repeatedly" Dick remembered the sex serum and then the pain serum, he wondered which Damian was talking about. "Whatever it was your body became addicted to it" Damians voice was slowing and he kept sending up glances at Dick. It made the older man feel vulnerable and weak. "You are going through withdraws that keep triggering seizures and cause you to stop breathing. We can't be sure how long they will last. 

Dick had known even when he was confined that he had become addicted but he hadn't thought it had been this bad. A wave of dizziness exploded over him and he laid across the cot again. He just needed to think of everything that happened while he was in captivity. He wasn't sure how long the silence lasted but Damian shad long since finished stitching up the gash on his arm. He was beginning to drift off when he felt a warm had touch his arm, it was Damian. The boy was standing beside him shifting side to side and looking uncomfortable. Dick carefully moved the breathing mask off his face, it made his chest feel tight almost immediately but Damian wanted to say something to him adn it was obviously important. 

"What's up lil'D" He didn't like how his words slurred. Damian didn't meet his eyes but began to speak quietly.

"Grayson, I am inefficient in expressing emotions" Damian shifted uncomfortable looking "But I hope to make you aware that if your kinesthetic nature seeks to be soothed while you recover I am opening a temporary allowance for you to hug me without direct permission" 

Dick smiled and shifted so that he was closer to the edge of the bed. "Lay with me" he whispered and Damian crawled on the bed. Dick pulled him closer "I love you" he whispered and they fell asleep. 

At some point in the night DIck stopped breathing again but this time they couldn't get him to start again, soon after his heart gave out and they were unable to get it started again. Dick's body simply had been unable to withstand the physical strain of the withdrawal that he had been going through and gave up. 

**Damian brushed a loose strang of hair out of Dick's face and began to sing quietly, it was the song Dick had always sung to him when he was having nightmares. As Dick lied there growing cold Damian wished to god he was just having a nightmare "The other night dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms, When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken, So I bowed my head and I cried, You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, You make me happy when skies are grey, You'll never know, dear, how much I love you Please don't take my sunshine away"**


	9. Day 12: Don't move

This was his fault, he should have noticed the bomb. He should have gotten them out of there faster. He should have done a million things differently and they wouldn't have ended up in this position. Batman and Robin had been on a mission, there had been a bomb that they didn't notice. It went off and now here they were buried under rubble. Batman had managed to be mostly unscathed but Robin had a large peice or rebarb peircing his shoulder. Luckily Batman had managed to get off a distress signal, now he just needed to keep robin alive long enough for Red Hood to get here.

Batman yanked off his cowl and looked down at his younger brother terrified. He had lost a lot of blood and had taken on a gray parlor. "Damian" Dick spoke softly, he gently slapped the younger boys cheek trying to wake him up. All he received was a light groan. He thought about it for a second then pulled off the Domino mask roughly knowing it would be enough sensation to wake the younger boy up. ANd it was, Damian Jerked awake and Dicks hand on his shoulder was the only thing stopping him from making his injury worse. 

"Damian don't move" The boy looked out of it and Dick knew he would respond better to his Richard voice over his Batman voice. "what do you remember?" Damian's groaned but forced his eyes opened

"Bomb, building collapsed, buried" Damian was gasping between breaths which were bad. Dick just prayed it would because the boy was scared and not because he had a collapsed or pierced lung. Dick brushed his hair back out of his face. 

"Okay, okay stay very still, your shoulder is impaled and we don't want to make it worse." The rebar had mostly stopped the bleeding but Dick was more concerned of internal bleeding or a haemorrhage. Damian nodded weakly and closed his eyes again. "No, no keep your eyes opened stay awake" DIck was desperate, Damian hit his head, he could have a concussion, and with the way, he was fading in and out it was probably bad. "Damian" The boy opened his eyes and looked at Dick "give me an injury report." This was to keep him talking and awake as well as to establish injuries. 

Damian groaned weakly "Shoulder" he groaned "severe concussion, potentially broken wr...AH!" the rubble shifted around them mildly shifting the rebar in Damian's shoulder and the younger boy screamed. Dick held him down trying to stop him from flinching away and making it worse. 

"Damian please I need you to stay still" Damian groaned and grabbed at Dick's leg digging his nails into it. He was digging his head into the ground and Dick couldn't do anything other than brush his hair back and comfort him. He didn't want to give Damian a tranquilizer or pain medication because the boy was already concussed and Dick didn't want him to pass out. 

Despite Dick holding him Damian was squirming and straining under his hands. Damian turned to the side as best he could with Dick holding his shoulder still and started throwing up. He was throwing up blood which meant internal bleeding. This was bad, Jason needed to get here now. After Damian finished throwing up his eyes rolled back into his head and he went limp. 

SHIT! Dick lightly slapped his cheek trying to wake him back up but it wouldn't work. Damian was out cold and DIck couldn't wake him back up. Even asleep he was gasping for breath and writhing on the floor. Dick felt for his pulse, it was weak and stringy. Dick pulled down the collar of Damian's uniform and frowned heavily. There was a large brused patch on his skin, the implied rebar had stopped external bleeding but he was defiantly bleeding internally. He was also going into shock. 

Damian started choking and vomiting again. Dick couldn't roll him over because of the rebar but he also couldn't just let Damian stay on his back because he would choke. So he adjusted him as best he could without further injuring him and hoped it was enough. He was still throwing up mostly blood and was beginning to tremble and break out in cold sweat. 

Damn it where was Jason. "Come on Damian wake up" He wanted to shake Damian till he woke up but he couldn't because of his injury. Damian was gasping roughly and his pulse was fading out. "Please little D" Dick was now crying, Damian was going still and his pulse was still fading. Dick held him carefully brushing his hair out of his face. Dick was growing dizzy from his own injury, he had a large gash on his leg and he had put a makeshift tourniquet on it but he had still been bleeding it was was taking effect on him. 

Dicks consciousness was fading out and his vision kept going black from blood loss. He couldn't tighten the turnequite any tighter without equipment so he was still bleeding out. It was hours later Dick still hadn't been able to wake Damian up and Dick was fading out quickly from blood loss. Dick heard someone calling his name and saw a bright light then everything else went black. 


	10. Day 13 unofficial alternative: Truth Serum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't really DickDami but its Dick+Batbros

"Okay, so heres whats going to happen" the stupid nameless villan walked infront of Nightwing with a low grin on his face. Dick just rolled his eyes looking at his brothers across the room. Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood were also tied down. "I injected you with truth serum and I just want you to answer them and you leave."

Always with nameless villains and their fucking truth serum. Where did they even get this shit? The villan walked into his line of sight blocking him from his brother "Do you understand?"

Dick immedatly felt a burning sensation in his throat "yeah" he growled and the burning sensation dissipated. So thats how this particular brand worked.

The stupid villan grinned "good so let's start easy, why did you become a hero?"

Dick growled again breathing through the burning pain, he needed to answer without giving out too much information "my parents were murdered" 

"You were the first Robin, what inspired yoir name?"

He looked at his brothers, none of them knew this. They all thought that it was something Dick chose. "My mom used to call me her Robin" he shied his eyes from his brothers looking at the floor. He could hear them muttering across the room. He wanted this to end. 

"Youre known fir always smiling and being happy, is it real?" 

Shit, he shifted uncomfortably testing his binds. They were secure. "No, its not real"

"Then why do you do it?" The no name villan had stopped pacing and was looking dead at him. Nightwing felt the burning start up again hin his chest but he stayed quiet. It took only a few seconds of silence before the stuff started to make him dizzy and short of breath. He felt blood start running down from his nose 

"Nightwing, just answer the fucking question before you get hurt" It was Robin screaming at him. Nightwing knew the effects of not answering on truth serum, it was deadly.

"To hide" he barked out hoping it would enough, it wasnt the burning didnt stop.

"To hide what?"

Nightwing forced himself not to start crying. Not infront of whoever this asshole was. Burning from this new question added onto the pain he was still feeling from the previous one. He didnt want to answer this. Not with his brother siting across the room listening to him. His ears started to ring and he felt sick, though he couldn't say if that was the serum or his own nerves. 

"TO HIDE WHAT?" THe man asked again and the burning sensation doubled leaving Nightwing breathless and in pain. 

"THAT IM SUICIDAL" NIghtwing barked out unable to suppress it, he immediately felt heat rise to his face and he closed his eyes not wanting to look at his brothers. The burning still hasn't subsided so he continued "I smile incessantly to hide the fact im suicidal and have been for a long long time." A few tears fell down his face and the room was dead silent. That was the first time he had ever said it out loud. 

"Why" the voice was so quiet he almost didn't hear it. This time it was one of his brothers. He didn't have the strength to fight the serum and just let the words fall out of his mouth.

"At first it was because of my parents, I wanted to eb with them. It took two months after the adoption was finalized before our dad started abusing me" He had to be careful not to use names because baddy was still around "After i moved I thought it would be okay then he gave my name to someone else, a second robin, and I hated him for it and I hated the second robin for taking it. Then the second robin died and I hated myself for not being a better brother. I had planned to kill myself then but he took in the third robin and I promised myself I would protect him from the abuse and I failed. Then the fourth was taken in an I promised I would protect him but he hated me. Eventually everyone was happy and I was happy but then my partner raped me and I can't do this anymore. Everytime stuff starts going right I just keep fucking up" 

He heard a sharp inhale from the bad guy asshole then he clucked his tongue "I was going to question the others but I think that's enough" his vice was small and he ran out of the room. Three second later the bonds on Nightwings wrists unclasped and it must have also unclasped the others because they were suddenly rushing over to him. NIghtwing drew his legs up onto the chair burrying his face. He was barely holding back an onslaught of tears so just a few were getting free. 

He felt his brothers hand on him "why didn't you tell us?" It was Tims voice it was shaking. 

"I didn't want you to know how weak I am" he whispered "please stop asking questions I can't not answer"

"How far have you thought this through?" That was Jason's voice and Dick felt the burning inhis chest and he felt out a weak sob.

"I've written notes but I keep throwing them out, i have plans but ive never gone through with them" He whispered "Please im begging you, stop asking questions it hurts" his chest hurt like crazy and he felt like throwing up.

"Grayson" Damians softly voice "You were going to leave me?" He sounded so young when he said that. 

No, Dick wanted to say no. he wanted to tell Damian that he would never leave, he wanted to but the stupid serum stopped the words on his lips. "You would be better off without me, no longer have to deal with my annoying singing or stupid hugs" His vice shook but it was true. 

"I'm sorry but we can't risk you fleeing before we can discuss this farther" It was Tims voice and Nightwing suddenly felt a needle prick on his arm and everything went black. 


	11. Day 14: Tear stained

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just ignore the fact im skipping days, ill come back to them at the end

Damian was meditating, which wasn't exactly an unusual thing. He claimed that his mother made him do it daily back in the league of assassins because it made him more aware of his surroundings and was a good practice in being still and quiet (as a good assassin should). So for Dick to walk into the training room and find Damian meditating normally wouldn't be a problem. Except for the fact that it was three in the morning (which also admittedly wasn't the most unusual thing in the world) and Damian had tear tracks on his dark skin. That last part was the concerning part.

As soon as Dick saw him his first instinct was to leave, he knew how much the young man hated being interrupted and he was too tired to be on the receiving end of the boys anger. After all, to find Damian in the training room middle of the night meant that DIck had also been in the training room in the middle fo the night. Then he noticed the tear tracts and the song that was playing. The song was a slow musical piece and a sharp contrast from what Damian normally listened to. Dick was still deciding what to do when Damian called him out.

"Grayson, leave or stay but stop dithering at the door like an indecisive child." Damian's voice was sharp but lacked its normal knifes edge so Dick made his decision and moved farther into the training room. 

"Hope im not interrupting, just came to use the trapeze" Dick was burningly curious but knew the best way to ask Damian what was wrong, was by asking around it rather than directly.

~Tt~ "I can focus through your incessant presence just so long as you shut up" His voice was sharp and Dick could see him shift slightly on his mat. He was lying, Dick knew it, Damian probably knew that Dick knew. It was a waiting game to see who would confess the reason for their early morning training room excursion first. Dick could do being quiet, really he wasn't in the mood to talk this morning. He had come here to be alone. 

Dick allowed his mind to wander off and let himself get lost in the muscle memory of his trapeze act. He was only dragged out of it when his hand slipped and he fell hard onto his knees on the trapeze platform. "SHIT" he spat throwing his water bottle at the wall, it made a loud crash. Under the sound of the crashing Dick heard the sound of a whimper. His rage turned cold and he looked over at Damian who had given up meditating completely and was covering his ears tightly. That was always a bad sign. 

Dick climbed down softly and walked over to Damian "Little D, you okay?" He asked softly and received a small whimper. 

"M-mother, ill do better, please don't punish me" Damian's voice was super quiet but it was clearly terrified. Shit, Dick came to a realization as to what was going on. Damian probably had a nightmare and came in here to try and meditate and calm himself down. Dicks outburst must have triggered a flashback. 

"Dami, its just me, your okay" He sat down across from his youngest brother but didn't risk touching him. The tear stains were being replaced by fresh tears and Damian was muttering to himself. He was having a flashback and flashbacks were worse than panic attacks. Panic attacks Dick could calm the boy down but with Flashbacks, there was little Dick could do till he came out of it.

It was an agonizingly long five minutes or so but Damian seemed to come back to his senses. "You okay?" Dick asked cautiously and Damian nodded but didn't say anything.   
Do you want to talk about it?" Dick offered and Damian shook his head. DIck wished he knew what Damian had been seeing because he looked shook up as hell.

"Do you want to get some tea?" Dick offered, he had all but forgotten about his nightmare now and was totally focused on his brother. Damian nodded and the two of them walked up in silence to the kitchen. It would founding four in the morning and DIck knew they would probably still be ther when Alfred woke up at six but that was okay. 


	12. Pinned down

You wouldn't think it would take four people to hold Dick down but it did. Damian was sitting on his left arm, Jason on his right, Tim and Bruce holding down his legs. Nightwing had been on patrol with Batman and Robin but he had gotten hit by some kind of psychic attack which sent him into a rage leading to the current situation. The idea that one man could take on four other vigilantes was concerning. Nightwings flexibility mixed with his strength made him hard to hold onto and even harder to pin down. 

"Doamne, dracu, Bruce, ascultă-mă, tată abuzător" he spat out, "Te voi omorî dacă vei pune vreodată mâna pe frații mei" his voice not much more than a growl. In the struggle to pin him down his mask had come off. Damian could see the wild look in his eyes as he spat and growled out sentences. He was fighting hard against everyone who was pinning him. 

"Robin, can you understand him?" Batman barked and Damian frowned. He had been teaching Dick Arabic and Dick was teaching him Romani but he hadn't learned too much. He could partially understand him, only a few broken words.

'bruce...abusive...listen...kill you...put a hand...my brothers'

"No, he is talking too fast" Damian lied, he was very concerned with what Dick was saying and felt it would be inappropriate to tell Father about it. Batman growled and Damian unconsciously shifted away from him. This action seemed to spark up Dick who had called silent 

"Pot face față abuzurilor și violului, pur și simplu nu le ating" 

Damian had caught more of that one than the previous "can deal...abuse...rape...don't touch...brothers." He had been so concerned with listening to what Dick had been saying he hadn't noticed that Bruce was injecting a tranquilizer into Dick neck until the man had fallen silent. Whatever that psychic had hit Dick with had him screaming in his native language and begging Bruce to abuse him instead of his brothers.

"Robin" He looked up at Batman who was glaring at him "are you sure you didn't get what he said" 

"NO i didn't" Damian lied again and put a hand to his head "I don't feel good, I think i got hit with some kind of after shock of the psycic attack." Another lie. Though it wasn't actually a lie, he felt really sick and dizzy from the information he had gathered from Dicks rants. He wanted to talk to Dick alone and he knew Batman would just drop Dick at the cave with Alfred and would just go back on patrol. He forced him self to fake gag and cover his mouth with a fake trembling hand. He needed Father to truely believe he wasn't feeling well or he would be dragged back on patrol with him. Jason seemed to notice his game and stepped behind him allowing Damian to fake stumble and fall back on him. Damian looked up at Batman who was still frowning and looking disbelieving. 

Damian thought about what he had heard DIck say, he said he could take the abuse and rape. Damian fake gaged again but this time it was more real and he already felt bile burning his throat. He breathed shakily through his nose covering his mouth hard. He learned back against Jaosn grateful the older man would help him. He felt a hand on his forehead "Bruce, the kid is warm and he looks terrible." Damian greatfully learned against Jason trying to act like he was really feeling out of it. He did feel out of it, his mind was reeling from what he had heard. 

Dick groaned from where he was and began to mutter again, starting to stir from his tranq induced nap "Puteţi să mă violează, doar să nu-i atingeţi"

Damian managed to capture that entire sentence, Dick said "You can rape me, just don't touch them"

Damian shoved his hand hard against his mouth gagging for real this time. Bile burned his entire throat. He needed to get away from this, he needed to talk to Dick without the others. "OKay, Robin, do you think you can drive Nightwing and Yourself back to the cave?" Batman sounded cautious about the idea. Damian nodded 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am aware that Wumptober is over.  
Yes, I am going to continue to update this anyway  
Yes, I will update it out of order  
No, I do not give a shit
> 
> please comment  
(im thinking about extending this chapter into a story of its own)


	13. Numb

Nightwing stood at the edge of the building looking down at the ground below, it was at least a 20 story drop. He'd been there at least twenty minutes thinking, he just wanted to go home. Not back to Bludhaven, or to the manor, or even to the circus. He wanted to go home to his parents, he wanted his mother to sing to him and his father to hug him tightly. When was the last time someone had actually hugged him anyway? He hugged Damian all the time but he had stopped recently he knew the boy hated it. Dick only did it because he wanted to make the boy feel loved, wanted him to believe he was family. It didn't matter though, Bruce was back and the kid didn't need Dick anymore. 

So here he was, standing there trying to build up the courage and jump. He would die tonight, just as his parents had almost 25 years ago. Flying, falling, with a sudden sharp stop at the end. In the same spot as well, or at least as close as he could get. A tall building just on the edge of the campsite where Hayley's circus set up every year. 50 feet at most from where the hightop tent would have been. It was a twisted kind of funny, dying so close to where his parents died when he himself had survived that night by pure luck.

He had performed that night, his father had swung him across the sky and onto the platform on the other side. He had swung on the cut trapeze rope. It should have dropped him to the ground with his parents. But it didn't, he had been too light back then to cause the rope to tear. He had only been on the platform for five seconds when his father swung to get his mother and bring her over as well. The exact same trick that Dick had just preformed but this time his parents combined weight caused it to snap. So it was a delayed irony that he would die here. All these years later. 

He needed to stop diddling he needed to commit before someone found him. He took a step closer to the edge looking over it. He could almost hear the music from all the way back then, could smell the circus food, could feel the body heat of the crowd. He would jump, he would die, it would be that simple. 

A large gust of wind blew almost knocking Dick off the building, he stumbled for a second close to tumbling over the edge before regaining his balance. Adrenaline and fear gripped his heart in a second. Suddenly his resolve to jump turned into panic and fear. He moved back from the edge frantically. The wind almost knocking him off the edge filled him with fear, not peace. The very real idea that he would fall and then that was it seemed to have clicked something in his brain. 

When the wind had almost knocked him over it wasn't peace that filled his mind, he didn't think of his parents. He thought of Damian. 

Dick put a hand over his mouth suddenly realizing how close he had just been to making a terrible mistake. Tears began to stream down his face silently and he felt dizzy. His knees gave out and he hit the hard roof his whole body trembling. What was he doing up here? He couldn't take his life! Shakily he reached into his uniform pulling out his phone and dialling the first number. 

"Grayson! It is three in the morning, this had better be important" Damian sounded as if he had just woken up. probably stirred awake by his ringing cell phone. 

"Hey, Dami" His voice was strained "I just..." 

what was he going to say? He had been about to kill himself when a gust of wind almost knocked him off the edge and made him realize that it was a bad idea and after he decided not to kill himself Damian had been the first person he had thought about calling to help him calm down because Damian had been the only person Dick was even concerned about leaving behind when he was planning his suicide? No that certainly wouldn't work.

"I um.. Had a nightmare and wanted to make sure you were okay. you know, to help me calm down."

It was a lie that he knew Damian would believe. He heard shifting on the other end of the phone and assumed Damian was sitting up. Dick, however, was still sitting on his knees on the roof crying and trembling. "Grayson, you are pathetic." He paused, Dick could hear the caring tone in his voice "Do you wish to speak about it?" Damian's voice was cautious and Dick smiled despite everything else. 

"No, no I just, I love you" 

Damian stayed silent for a minute "Dick? Are you okay?" Dick knew that was Damian's way of reciprocating his love. 

"Yeah, I think I'm okay now. Thank you" 


	14. Asphyxiation

He should have noticed the goon, he should have noticed him before he got an opportunity to cut Damian's grapple line and cause him to fall twenty feet to the ground into a pile of garbage and discarded junk. A piece of wiring that happened to be down there somehow managed to wrap around his neck when he fell and in his current position he couldn't get it off. And every breath he took was causing it to tighten around his throat. 

He tried to keep calm and assess his situation. He had a conscious, he was having trouble breathing both because of the wire and pain in his chest most likely a few bruised maybe broken ribs. His arm was pinned under something and his other was dislocated at the shoulder. Meaning he couldn't move at all and the wire was slowly tightening around his neck making it harder and harder to breathe.

"Robin? Damian come in? Are you okay?" Damian heard Dicks voice over his comlink and was thankful that it hadn't been broken. 

"Help" Damian tried to talk but the wire tightened and caused him to burst out coughing. The coughing further caused the wire to tighten. 

"Okay, I'm tracking your calm link. Just stay calm. I'm coming for you" Dicks voice was calming but it didn't help with Dmainas panic too much. he had no idea where he was, no idea how far away Dick was and no idea how long he had till this wire choaked him completely. he was already struggling to breathe and it was painfully tight. 

"hurry....can't breath" He knew he needed to shut up that talking only made it worse, but he was so scared. This was exactly not how he wanted to die and he felt terrified. He wondered if DIck would find him in time. He wondered how slow this would cut off his oxygen. He always hoped if he died it would be a quick warriors death. But this was a slow torturously painful death by asphyxiation. 

"Okay I'm coming just stay with me" Dick sounded scared and Damian felt another coughing fit tickle his throat and he tried to fight it back but he burst into another long coughing fit and by the time it was over he was out of breath and could feel the sharp wire digging into his skin. He looked around hoping to see Dick. Hoping to get resued. He had no idea how long he had been down here, it felt like forever. His heartfelt like it was racing and he felt like he was breathing too fast. Which only served to quicken the tightening of the wire but he couldn't stop it. 

He knew the 4 stages of asphyxiation, he was still in the first one which was good considering it meant the air was still getting to his brain. But it was bad considering he couldn't stop the involuntary rapid breaths and that his heart racing was causing his body to use air too fast. 

  * Stage one was hyperawareness, increased breath, higher heart rate, and increased BP
  * Stage two was lethargy, slowed breathing, slowed heart, and lowered BP
  * Stage three was extreme lengthy/unconsciousness, drastically slowed breathing. periods of complete lapses in breathing (for several seconds at a time).
  * and stage four was respiratory paralysis and death. 

Damian tried to keep calm. He looked up at the stars, usually, the city was too bright but the civilian they had been chasing cut the grid in an attempt to getaway. So tonight it was dark and he could see the sky well. He missed the sky, he had always been able to see it back in the league. In the desert, you could look up and see the Milkyway but here in Gotham, it was just darkness and clouds. 

Damian found himself closing his eyes for a second before Dick's voice startled him. "Dami? you still with me?"

"Yeah" he whispered. He was really tired. He wanted to go to sleep but he knew that it was dangerous. After several seconds of confused haze, he realized that it was so unbearably quiet, his heart no longer sounded like it was beating in his ears. Damian didn't welcome the quiet, he knew it was him falling into the second stage but exhaustion was making it hard to thing. 

Another coughing fit wracked his body and he felt the wire tighten even more. He could feel blood running down his neck from where the wire was cutting into his flesh. "Okay, I'm almost there Damian just stay with me" Dick's voice sounded so far away. Damian's ears were ringing with silence and he wanted to go to sleep. He kept finding himself drifting off and had to keep reminding himself to breath. If he didn't focus he would stop and fall asleep. His lips were beginning to tingle from lack of air and he felt so dizzy. 

His vision was dark and it made it hard to see. Black spots covered his vision and he couldn't stop himself from closing his eyes. Letting the loud ringing in his ears take over. The wire was so tight he couldn't get any air in and he was just so tired. His chest burned. He thought he heard someone say his name, then everything went dark. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment


	15. Hallucination

Nightwing collapsed to his knees looking wide eyed ahead of him. He wasnt sure what just happened, he was on patrol with Batman and Robin when the three of them were split up. Nightwing had been following a perp when the guy used some kind of smoke bomb and shoved him back against a wall. When Nightwing hit the wall he instinctually gasped and accidentally breathed in the smoke. 

Now the perp was gone and Nightwing felt like he couldnt breath. His chest was tight and he felt weird. Not sick but really weird. His fingers were tingling and his eyes were blurry. He knew he needed to get up or call for backup but his brain was short circuiting and he couldnt move. 

"Nightwing can you hear me?" Batman spoke over the intercom and Nightwing couldnt respond. He sounded a million miles away. He tried to get a word out but it only came out as a small gasp which triggeted a massive coughing fit. He was coughing so hard he doubled over onto himself unable to catch his breath. Something was definitely in the smoke that he breathed in. He could hear garbled speaking in the mic in his ear but he couldnt understand any of it.

His attention was focused on the floor where he could begin to see swirls of colour dancing at the edge of his vision. He felt weird. Nothing felt real and he felt like he was floating. This was really bad. He wanted to say something but he couldnt get words to form. 

"Dick!" 

Nightwing looked up the sound of his name. He couldnt see anyone, the alley was empty. The alley was shifting and moving around him and everything kept changing colours. He was hallucinating, he needed to call Batman or robin and get help. But he couldnt get his brain to form words. 

"Dick look at me!" 

The voice barked again. Dick looked around the alley and spotted someone standing in the shodows. He couldnt tell if they were real or not. He couldnt tell if anything was real, his head was spinning and he felt like he was in a dream. The black figure sauntered out of the shadow and toward dick stopping just infront of him. Another shadow person also emerged from the darkness walking up tondick

"Son, look at me" The shadow figure kneeled infront of him and put two fingers on his chin lifting it up. "Open your eyes"

Dick opened his eyes not remebering having ever closed them. "Mami?" He spoke softly. His voice shounded strange and foreign. His mither was crouching infront if him looking coldly. What was he doing here? How had she gotten here? What was happening? "Papi?" He looked at his parents standing infront of him. He wanted to hug them but he felt paralyzed. 

"Hello my little Robin" His mom spoke softly. The world around them was still shifting and flashing but his parents seem to be stable within all the weird hallucinations. "What are you doing out here?" Her voice was so soft and kind. 

"I breathed something in" he muttered. His vision blurred and he forced a hand over his mouth feeling like he would throw up. 

"Of course you did, you've always been a failure" his mom snarled and pulled back from him. Dicks skin felt like fire where she had her fingers. Dick looked at her wide eyed. He felt his heart snap in his chest.

"What?" He gasped. How could she say that, he had done his best. He had become robin to avenge her and his dad. How could she consider him a failure?

"You heard me little boy" his mother kicked him and knocked him over. Dick just let himself crash to the floor unable to control his body. He didnt have any strength. "You let us die!" She screamed kicking him again "it was your job to check the rope." She yelled violently and Dick just curled up into himself. He felt like he didnt have the strength to move. 

"I did" he muttered. He had checked it, the rope hadnt been damaged until after his check. He hadnt been responsible. Their death wasn't his fault. He couldnt defend himself anymore his chest was too tight and he couldnt talk. 

"You gave away your naem." He crouched down beside him on the floor and brushed his hair aside. "You used to be my little robin and now you gave your name away. Just like you never cared about it at all." 

Dick felt tears dampen his cheeks. He wanted to defend himslelf. He had been angry about the name. He had been angry when Jason was named Robin. He hadnt wanted to give the name away. He loved his parents and thats the whole reason he chose that name. His father walkeed up and ran a hand through Dicks hair. "Papi" he mouthed the word without sound. He hoped his father would defend him but he didnt. His father just shook his head disappointedly. 

Dick squeezed his eyes closed and when he opened them again he was met by his parents but now they were mangled and broken and bloody. They looked like they did right after the fall. Dick could smell the blood and hear their screaming in his ears. Terror and sadness filled him. 

"Why didnt you save us!" They demanded in unison and Dick covered his face with his hands squeezing his eyes closed tightly, crying. He could feel his parents blood on him and he could hear them yelling at him. Calling him a failure and saying he let them die.

Dick wasnt sure how long he was out there when he felt a solid hand on his shoulder. "Nightwing?" He whimpered pulling back.

"No, youre not real" he gasped crying harder. "You arent real!" 

"Nightwing, snap out of it. Its me. Damian" Dick looked up and Damian was crouching beside him, so was Batman. He felt an incredible wave of reliefe wash iver him. His parents were gone but everything else was still fluxuating and shifting. He was still heavily hallucinating. "Nightwing" Bruce snapped infront of his face. "Are you okay?" 

Dick looked at them trying to figure out if they were real. He couldnt understand anything. Hs felt sick to his stomach. He closed his eyes again wanting the world to just stand still fir a few seconds. He felt someone carefully move him so he was sittting and leaning against the wall. Two fingers pressed against the side of his neck and he heard muttering. Someone was trying to find a pulse point. He opened his eyes confused and tired. Bruce and Damian were still both crouched in front of him he opened his mouth trying to find words but just managed to gasp for air. Standing behind the two other heros Dick could see his parents bloody and broken standing over them. Their blood dripping onto the heros uniform. 

He looked in horror at the broken figures of parents. There bodies were awful. Necks at unusual angles, arms and legs with bones sticking out. Half his mothers face was crushed in from the fall, his dads jaw was brokwn in multiple places and barley hanging on by the skin. Dick could smepl the blood and watched a drop roll off of his mother's face and drip onto Damian, rolling down his face and onto his lips.

Dick couldnt take it anymore. He gagged at the overwhelming smell and began to throw up violently. He didnt care that he was throwing up on himself. He couldnt even force himself to move. He squeezed his eyes closed again but he could still smell the blood and feel them watching him. 

His chest heaved with short sharp gasps for air as he desperately tried to breath. But everything felt wrong and weird. He felt arms wrap below his arms and another pair of arms go under his legs before he was lifted up. His vision also finally began to go black and everything began to get quiet and still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please please please comment. Even if your read this after it's all finished.
> 
> Might make a full story out of this chapter


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